'You've Switched Off,' An Awesome Poem of Hope: About Life and Surviving Caring in Drug Fuelled Love Hate Relationship.
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'Crazy, Crazy, Caring.'
'You've Switched Off' - An Awesome Poem of Hope: About Surviving in a Drug Induced Love and Hate Relationship; by Pearldiver, another powerful poem in Pearldiver's Life Circles series. This poem states an obvious; that some relationships in our lives are simply not meant to be. But then some of those relationships are just so hot, that we just can’t help but be caught in the vortex of an emotional imbalance between the partners. Inevitably, these types of relationships are spawned from chemistry so intense that the partners generally, in their own ways; become dependent on the deeply emotional waves that they experience. Both sayings; ‘Opposites attract’ and ‘being at 6s and 7s’ with someone, certainly would apply to such relationships. Often the six is so addictive, that we are blinded by it and oblivious to the potentially negative effects of the seven. So often these types of attraction can develop into an unhealthy co-dependent relationship, for the parties.
Below is a poem of hope for a person whom I will call 'Suzy,' who had the balance in her relationships undermined by a heavy over exposure to benzodiazepines that had been prescribed to her solely for the purpose helping her sleep. When her doctor was challenged as to why he would keep her on such cruel drugs, renowned for their emotional and nerve degradation, he refused to speak, clearly knowing he had abused the patient’s trust and health; as a result of an 8 year exposure to a drug not recommended to be taken continuously for more than 6 months. A true story, her pain and her pleasure is not so unique. Enjoy this poem 'You've Switched Off'
'You've Switched Off.'
Yep yell at me
And storm out again
I’ve switched off
Can’t hear what you say
I just watch your lips
And wonder how
How thin they become
How well you curl
Your anger
Hands on your hips
How I once loved
Someone who was like you
Someone who dreamed
Someone who cared
Not this angry bitch
She’s lost all respect
For herself
For our hearts
For the dreams that we shared
You’ve switched off
Can’t hear what I say
Can’t take this anymore
Can’t let you make this play
I’m not sorry that I cared
And that I dreamed too
But I am sorry that
I called you a bitch
At a time I know you hurt
On a sometimes
Crazy day
That can and does
Swing either way
So we need to breathe
We need to smile
We need to not
Be angry anymore
Time out to find
Why this storm
Keeps rolling through
A precious friendship
The love we once saw
And what it made us do.
So in the calm restored
Please tell me what is true
Because, I just can’t help
Clinging to the pain
Pain behind the words
Spoken on such distant days
I find it is just so hard
No matter what you do
You make me ache
And swallow all my pride
In such cruel, cruel ways
You hold my heart
And squeeze it hard
Just to show me that you can
Those pouting lips
Are full again
Your scent is all
That I can breathe
Love, hate, love
Destructiveness
Obsessive things we do
If I must
I will love you like a fool
And ask myself
Most every day why
These intense passions rule
And come and go
In deep wet
Sensual waves
We rise and rise this way
Only dawn can make us rest
I hate, that I loved this
Crazy foreplay at it’s best
That crazy, crazy, crazy
Life that we had
Spent fighting and forgiving
Co-dependency, that is true
God I loved those crazy, crazy
Crazy toxic ways
Of loving of you
oo0oo
© Copyright 2010 Pearldiver @ Poems of Hope.com with all rights reserved.
What Happens Next?
For many who get into relationships like this, they often find that there is a constant feeling that one must ‘walk on eggshells’ just to avoid the awareness that at any time, the other can ‘loose it’ over the slightest thing. There is often a power play that is going on in the background, where one of the partners has convinced the other and themselves, that they are a ‘victim.’ Generally, a dark issue of self esteem feeds that role to the point that the other partner unwittingly takes up the role of ‘rescuer.’
Within a short span of time the ‘victim’ takes full emotional advantage of that ‘power over’ the ‘rescuer’ and that is how the whole relationship is expected to be conducted. Effectively, this is actually an abusive relationship, even though there are times when incredible highs occur, which then tend to be followed by incredible lows. If this sounds like an emotional roller-coaster, it is because it is and you can’t jump out while your car is swinging off the corners and roaring through corkscrews.
Best advice: get out before you are accused of some imaginary event or carted off to a police station, accused of domestic violence. They love you…. They just don’t know what that means, as they have very little self love.
When a relationship is indirectly affected by the side effects of very harsh drugs; then loving that person means that you have to try to ignore that bad behavior and concentrate on the positive aspects of the relationship! Get the picture? There are NO Positives about an abusive relationship, are there?
Good luck… Love hurts.
© Copyright 2010 Pearldiver @ Poems of Hope.com with all rights reserved.
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Hello alekhouse, thank you for reading this work and for commenting on an issue that many of us have experienced and I guess many others will. If the underlying message here is taken, then perhaps others will know how to avoid the destructiveness that has the potential for negatively affecting one's future relationships. It is as you say: an absolutely heart wrenching bad. Thanks again for the weight of your wisdom. Take Care.
I've been in similar relationships but didn't know the reason my friends were acting out. It can be very confusing and the pain is intense. Your poetry encapsulates that experience - one that too many people share.
Hi LindaJM, thank for reading this and sharing your experience. You have been reading one of my experiences. You are right, we often don't know why our friends are acting that way.... mine banned me from going back... lol.
We forget that our real friends tend to know us most don't we? Take care and cheers.
I have never experienced this kind of relationship, but reading your touching words is a reminder of the pain that one goes through with addiction and codependency.A great informative hub.
Cheers
Wow.
The tears sting a little as they roll down my cheeks. I can relate all too well. I just got off of that roller coaster ride a couple years back. I guess I am still recovering everyday, and putting the pieces of my heart back together again. After all that has happened, I still miss the person he was before the drugs.
I believe drugs can be worse than death, because sometimes they kill the best parts in the most beautiful people. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece and the words of wisdom to warn others.
Always Exploring, thank you for taking the time to read this poem of hope on a subject that many may never have the courage of admitting that they knew they were, or are in and how destructive not walking away with some dignity, can be in the long run. I'm pleased that you have avoided such relationships AE. We don't often look for them; they just appear at the point that care most for the other person and you must make the decision to either care for yourself (and Leave) or care for them (and Stay in the hope the madness passes). So many people have had their life light extinguished in these type of affairs. Take Care and be well.
Nellieanna, Hi.. thanks for reading this and having the ability to say so much with just a single word. Wow indeed.
Just another little twist in the human condition, isn't it?
Take care and be well.
Hi Whikat, thank you for taking the time to read this and perhaps see that there are many 'survivors' of this style of relationship. We all have scars.. both partners are scarred.. that is part of the tragic, foreseeable outcome.. some that have taken half a lifetime to heal. For a 'rescuer' I guess it is like stopping to help someone getting beaten up by their partner... stepping in to help and having them both then turn of you, happy that their game has brought the heightened buzz of kicking a caring stranger!
So yeah, one step at a time, purposely further away from the emotional blackmail. You be strong for you and take care.
....yea, emotional blackmail....pretty intense relationship ...thankfully I haven't had the experience....felt your words.....it's hard to heal deep, deep scars when both have them.....
Hi SomewayOuttaHere, these are extremely intense relationships; which is a lot of the original attraction. The scars come from how two people tear each other down from that intensity. It's just Tres BS! Take care, thanks for reading this work.
It's no wonder that vampire, werewolf and zombie movies are so in vogue; where sensitive caring people are sucked into hopelessly destructive relationships with creatures that once were wonderful, caring, loving partners, but are now hollow shells only slightly resembling what they once were.
It is the occasional glimpse of their now lost humanity that never quite lets you cut all ties and save yourself.
The analogy is fitting and the primal passion play is all around us.
Like the vampire who has no reflection, neither partner seems able to look in the mirror and see who they have become, preferring the illusion they are the people who once deserved one another's love.
This was a well done hub and the poem all too familiar.
CP
Hello CP, Thanks so much for such an excellent and relevant analogy. You are so right about this. Nicely stated Sir. I am sure that I will enjoy more of your creative mind when I read your works. Cheers, you take care and keep your stake sharp!
Hi Rob...I enjoyed this sharing of a challenging time in your life...I also appreciate the sage and considered advise you have offered your readers about abusive relationships...
Tight lines, my friend...Larry
Hi Larry, thanks for reading yet another chapter in the steps to understanding human nature my friend. Tight lines.. ummm it's spring fishing time here and I've been letting so many great fish go; sadly, merely as I haven't cast a line for awhile! Hope all is well with you sir. You take care..
ahh the power of addiction to another - more intense than any drug induced high - and more destructive...
beautifully portrayed.
Hi Rebecca, thanks for reading this poem of hope (I don't do this again!!) Well the problem is; that if you care you ride it out.. and if you don't, or want to save time, you walk away. We often never see how badly drugs have really emotionally damaged others, until we have to deal with the things that require emotional maturity.. and often, there lies the problem.. Take Care and cheers for your kind words.
An intense poem was " You've Switched Off ". I have to share it on my FB.
Delayed response to your post DRG.. sorry that I had not replied earlier, but it does not take away my gratitude that you took the time to read and review this work. Thank you. Take care.
I can feel the emotion in your words. Very beautiful! And codependent relationships are horrible! Thanks for that.
Hi caroline, thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm glad that you enjoyed this work. You are quite right, they really are bad news and do a lot of damage. Take care.
Amazing that you can write about my life as you do. I recently divorced an alcoholic, I am now "trying" to move on to a better life. Thank you for throwing your poem right out there for me to stumble upon when I needed it the most. You are a blessing to me.
Hi cls, thanks for reading this work and your kind words. I think I have written this for many people around the world and across the broad spectrum of co-dependent relationships. I am very pleased if my words can help you to move on in your life.
You will find that there is a need to embrace change and not fear what that change can bring, as it is a positive vehicle which will carry you away from the negative experiences that provided the basis of the co-dependency in your previous relationship.
You will achieve a better life only if you make the commitment to yourself, to never go back and never allow yourself to settle for 2nd best again! You have and deserve the right to be Happy! You take care and get there okay!
Wow, Pearldiver. There are poets and there are those who can reach inside a person's mind and understand the very core of what they have or are feeling.
You not only write a beautiful piece, but you take it further to thoroughly explain the root of the emotions.
Brilliant, just brilliant!
Wow jenubouka.. thanks very much for such a positive and glowing review of this poem. 'You've Switched Off' had to be written in the manner it was as it needed to convey how people experiencing such relationships effectively 'change direction' on a whim, or tear, or a burst of insecurity.
I'm glad you appreciated this work and the context of my writing.. I do understand people as people have been a very large part of my life and chosen careers. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment on my words.. take care.
I feel so blessed to be enlightened with hubbers that have stuck around and maintain their purpose. As we both know the new formats and Google thang has purposed us to become more aware of our own liability in the "online" venture. I have to admit I have become deeply concerned about the cause and effect of it all. However, this site has encompassed me to engage or embark on incredible and talented authors. Like you. That my friend, is priceless.
Thanks for that.. and yes they need to get their acts together, because they have deserted the very thing that got them to here... the people behind the words. Eventually those with substance and personality will be seen as a negative to the current regime and one must become an introvert to have the opportunity to speak! I don't abide fools well, I'm afraid... they are the scourge of talented and creative people... please don't get me started.. hahaha.. take care Jen.
alekhouse Level 4 Commenter 19 months ago
This is abaolutely heart wrenching abd so beautifully written. I can relate, but am glad it's in the past.